Jim and Olivia's Wedding
July 31st, 2004

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Meeting

Olivia and I have known each other since the end of high school. We met at an under 21 dance club, "The Lost Abbey,"  in 1995. We also ended up having mutual dance classes at the University . We ended up running in many common circles. Through all these associations we grew very close. We have always had a comfortable friendship based on mutual warmth, respect, and quality hugs. Dating and eventual marriage just felt so natural.

Proposal

After dating and co-habitating for over two years, since 2002, I was was convinced we were a perfect match. Olivia is smart, beautiful, and supportive. My mom, Nora, had given me my maternal grandmother's, Margaret's, 25th anniversary diamond ring for an engagement. It was a real blessing since my Grand Parents Bernie and Margaret Ruckh have been married more than 60 years, and it is a beautiful stone. I discussed the matter with Olivia's Parents, Eugenia (Jean) and Gary, in November of 2003. Jean and Stephanie, Jean's life-partner, were elated. Stephanie was concerned that she couldn't contain the secret. Rob, my brother, Olivia and I were gutting and moving into the house in Tudor Hills at the time. So, life was pretty busy. Gary was doing so much for us inside the house that it was hard to ask him. He gave a smiling blessing and we got back to work.


Things happen slower than you plan. I hinted to everyone I was shooting for New Years Eve Day of 2003. New Years came and went with work on the house and my big Blackboard software change over project at work. Stephanie almost blabbed once, but it was lost in the social jabber. After various nefarious and none-to-subtle attempts to acquire Olivia's ring size and preference including sleep-measuring, odd side references, and spying in her internet history, I went to the Jewelry Cache in January and chose a ring to have Grandma's diamond mounted on. Now, I was shooting for a Valentine's Day 2004 proposal.



 

It was the Friday before Valentine's Day (V-day). The ring's band hadn't arrived. After a frantic conversation with Josh, the owner at the Jewelry Cache, Josh loaned me a ring to have the diamond mounted on. At least this way I made the deadline :) Olivia, if she said yes, would have to go in and have the diamond switched out for the band I chose. That wouldn't be a big inconvenience because we were likely to have the engagement ring resized since I ordered it larger than I thought. I wanted to gaurantee that it slipped onto her finger for the moment and to show people. Goofily too big is better than disappointingly too small.

Valentine's day came. Remember it's February in Alaska. We got dressed up and had a fancy dinner at The Southside Bistro . Rob had suggested stashing a gorilla suit in the bathroom, working something out with the staff, and proposing in costume. He's still disappointed. We had a slow quiet drive up to a side road around Flattop Mountain. We watched the city lights, listened to the radio and talked. I got out of the car and proposed, knee-in snow, through the open car door. The too large ring slid easily onto her finger as she laughed and cried yes. We were both ecstatic.



Engagement & Wedding Planning

A wedding is probably one of the most complicated projects that you can imagine. It's got all the elements of a challenging corporate or construction project; budget, time line, transportation, materials, global constituents, marketing plan, legal work, and human resources. Plus, ephemeral aspects like emotion, tone, and aesthetic.  Olivia's Mom, Jean, could be described as the project coordinator where Olivia was project leadership. I was a contractor.

When? First there is picking a date. It had to be a time between Rob's wreck diving the Aleutian steam ship and shark fishing. It had to be before my work trip to Washington DC. Plus, it had to be during the niche in hunting season when Olivia's Dad, Gary, wasn't away chasing critters. Oh, and it couldn't be on a work day. Plus, it had to be before Stephanie left to finish college in Vancouver. We finally established Saturday, July 31st of 2004.

Where? Next there is picking a location. Idealistically, we both wanted an outdoor wedding nestled in Alaska's beautiful wilderness. There were limitations though. Some family member's couldn't walk tough or long terrain. The location had to be less than a day's drive away from town and lodging. Yet, it had to be far enough from the road to allude to wilderness. All and all it wasn't that challenging to find a suitable space. After a couple of scout runs, and some wizened advice from elders, we formed a couple of variations and backups on a plan at Milepost 65 of the Seward Highway. It's a beautiful valley in the middle of Turnagain pass. There are rest stops on either side of the highway. The park service was even nice enough to decide to put in a gravel path that year, a good omen.



 

Who? Inviting people is also a balancing act. You have space and budget constraints, yet no limit to the love you want to share. The ceremony is simplest because you invite intimate family and friends. The easiest of those being your immediate family, bridesmaids, and groomsmen. We sent two categories of invitation one for just the reception the other for both ceremony and reception. All and all I think we sent out around 100 invitations.



 

How? We were very lucky to have such wonderful support from family and friends. I can scarcely enumerate the ways people helped us prepare. Jean and Steph did most of the visual design and a lot of logistics. Stephanie is a graphics designer and created beautiful invitations full of color and texture using a lovely picture of one of Jean's orchids, velum, and exotic paper ribbons. Olivia and her mom sewed the dress together. Gary handled most of the heavy lifting logistics including RVs for the bride and groom, an ATV for transporting grandparents up the wedding hill, and large tents and tables for guests.  Olivia's Brother, Glen, arranged the speakers and sound system. Plus, he was DJ to our pre-selected play list of MP3s. Larissa, Gay, and Kathy did in between "roady" duty.

Rob, with Brock and Larissa's help, arranged for a 25lb pig and a huge grill for roasting. We'd originally thought about a pot luck to save money, but decided in favor of the simplicity of a single buffet. The fine crew at Specialty Imports, were a big help supporting the wine and keg. Jean and Olivia (with a special touch from Grandma) designed and sewed the dress that was cream and gold; like a renaissance fairy princess. They also picked out the man clothes. The men were grateful. Olivia's maternal Aunt Prudence (Prudy) gets credit for the beautiful flower arrangements, corsages, and boutonniere. The flowers and bouquets were a combination of flowers ordered from the internet, end-of-season potted plants bought on sale at the green house, and last minute dash for aesthetically appropriate flowers to replace the ones that were crushed in the transfer from the internet. The transition from internet to real world is hard on things.

Olivia, Rob and I were well settled in the house by now. So much of the planning could revolve around hosting at the home. We got the permits for a block party and made arrangements for parking at a nearby church. The church was also the launch point for the Limo Bus.

My Dad, Rick, kindly hosted a wonderful rehearsal dinner at Mick's at the Inlet. A nice classy restaurant where Glen happens to work in the adjoining bar. It was beautiful buffet dinner in a private dining room. It was awesome that Mom and Rich, Dad and Susan, Uncle Pat & Aunt Karen, Aunt Courtney, the groomsmen; Rob, Jason, Ray, bridesmaids; Shani, Shena, Cousin Kelly could all be there. Dennis represented the Wagner's whose better half was home with sick kiddos. It's so nice to have so many out of town relativese together. Dad gave a speech full of metaphor and kindness. Olivia and I ended the evening with a verbal overview of the following day's agenda and goodnight hugs.


Wedding Day

Morning

We and others probably slept 5 hours between last minute preparations and early morning beginnings. Olivia and maidens had an 8am makeup session. They'd visited the spa the day before for some pampering. I nested, cleaned, received others help, and prepared the music. By 8:30am the house was full of relatives and friends; arranging flowers, cleaning, cooking, braiding, lifting, roasting, wrenching, mowing, towing and just generally bustling busily about.

The weather couldn't have been better. Not only was the forecast beautiful the night before, but the news weather lady really delivered. It was clear and bright sunny with wispy moving clouds and a gentle breeze. Basically, everything the invitations had promised of an Alaska summer day.

The groom's RV, piloted by Tom, was off around 11:30a to make preparations at the ceremony site. It's about an hour and 20 minute drive. I  forgot my wedding vow notes. So, I  rewrote/revised and memorized them on the way out. The vows are really just words for how I feel. So, it wasn't all that hard to recall what I had rehearsed. The groomsmen met the photographer Eric at the the parking lot of the rest stop. They all scoped out the lighting and terrain.


 

Guests started trickling in over the next hour. Prudy had setup a table to hand out the bottled water and big yellow umbrellas that Jean and Stephanie provided as a visual accent, element protection, and a wedding gift to guests. People, milled about and introduced each other. It was kind of like a picnic for a while.
 


Once the Bride's RV and the ATV arrived, piloted by Gary,  things got down to business. The now spiffed and dressed groomsmen were pinned with boutonnieres. Denny was using the ATV to shuttle up those that needed it. I waited at the appointed alter area while the groomsmen marked the path for people to follow. It was about 400 yards off the paved trail, in a field of blooming fireweed, and framed by a cascading stream and beautiful mountains. It was breathtaking.



Ceremony

The procession for the ceremony started at the parking lot. Led by Anchorage Symphony's Mari Jameison on violin, People carried their umbrellas for shade as they walked the path marked by groomsmen on the gently sloped meadow. Led by the lovely bridesmaids, the procession of yellow, winding through green fields under blue skies was art in motion.
 


Olivia, radiant, in her cream and gold dress was escorted by her father clad in navy blue coat and beige slacks. Resplendent, they were the perfect tail  to the procession.
 


 

The ceremony itself was christened with Gary passing me Olivia's hand. The goal was to have a pretty short ceremony.We wrote our own proceedings and vows. Dennis Wagner did a fine job as MC. The formalities took about 5 minutes. People scarcely had time to cry.


The wedding pictures took about 40 minutes. We lead the procession of people back down the hill. We  rode back to Anchorage together in the Limo bus with most of the ceremony's guests.
 

Reception

The reception was a block party format. Gary had rented tents and tables. Glen rented a big sound system and ran our music play list off of the household mp3 file share. All the neighbors were invited. We had municipal permits for noise and traffic.  Thankfully they weren't needed ;)

Jean and Steph made big pots of beans to go with the barbeque beef. They also prepared Brie with grapes and rustic breads. Kathi, Gay, Larissa, Rob, and "The Cake Lady" Tammy did a lot of preparation that day. There was a pig roasted a-la Rob, Brock, and Christi. Gary's camp cooked fresh salmon. Specialty Imports' crew helped us arrange beverages. There was red and white wine along with a keg of Flying Dog's In Heat Wheat beer. It was a fine feast.



"The Cake Lady", Tammy, a friend of the Wagners, really out did herself. It was a rich chocolate cake with cream frosting and chocolate drizzle frosting. Each of the 3 layers' tops was packed with fresh strawberries. The strawberries were special orders and picked through meticulously by Olivia and Tammy at New Sagaya the morning before. Even the cake table had a swirly chocolate drizzle. Decadence!



 

People ate, drank, danced and talked. Rob gave a short humorous speech jesting about his proposal being declined by Olivia and celebrating chubby babies. Olivia's Grandma Ruth, the one who embroidered the secret heart on the wedding dress, read a longer speech about the trials, tribulations and rewards of a shared life.
 


The bouquet toss was a reluctant success. Rob and crowd had to goad single women into participating where they fought to avoid that bouquet. The garter toss went over better. Rob won it and wore it around after I put it on his leg. It was hugely funny!

We danced to our chosen song, Allison Krauss' "When You Say Nothing At All." People blew bubbles. Surrounded by family and friends on a sunny Alaskan evening, we could not have asked for a more perfect setting. Then the bride had her dance with her father. Love was in the air!



The party finally started winding down around 9pm. Many people were still lingering; munching leftovers and trying to finish the keg. We were just happy to be out of our  penguin suits. At 11pm, We finally packed our day bags for the bed and breakfast on the hill and left the party to continue without us. We were tired, and happy to be wed.

Honeymoon

The first night of the honeymoon we stayed at the Highland House, a bed and breakfast high up on hillside. It was a really easy open door policy having already made arrangements. We had a large room with an attached bath. The novelty was that the bath tub was HUGE! It was 3 feet deep and 7 feet long and wide enough for two. Pretty swank! We slept in, had breakfast in the room, and headed back to the house.

There were still presents to open. First, we cleaned up the immediacies of the reception; dishes, glasses, and clutter. We opened and recorded our lovely wedding presents.


  • $$ Money
  • 2 handmade pottery bowls
  • Alco metal and glass candle holder
  • Antique plate and crystal bowl
  • Candle bowl
  • Crocheted blanket
  • Daffodil Platter
  • Dinner dice and 3 picture frame
  • Embroidered hand towels and hot pads
  • Fiesta ware bowl set
  • Fireweed Stained Glass
  • Gift Certificate: Barnes and Noble
  • Gift Certificate: Best Buy
  • Gift Certificate: Metro Cooks
  • Gift Certificate: Southside Bistro
  • Hibiscus tea set, 7 piece
  • Knitted winter caps
  • Large Crystal Bowl
  • Letter 'W' crocheted in lace and framed
  • Margarita Glass set
  • Mikasa Burgundy goblets
  • Mini Quisenarte food processor
  • Nice bath towel set
  • Pizza stone and wood Caesar bowl
  • Raku face mask sculpture
  • Sage dinnerware set
  • Crystal Daisy Bowl
  • Silver Nambe Bowl
  • Tea Pot
  • Tiffany Lamp
  • "Uzi" Cork screw and 24 "pro" wine glasses

Olivia had already handled most of the reservations for bed & breakfasts along the way. We leaned toward places with an internet presence. We stayed in the Highland House that first night. It was good to be able to just walk away from that busy day and relax together. The next day, after presents and a little clean-up at the house, we had a nice summer drive to Homer, a sea town about 6 hours south. We had the iPod for tunes and because it was Sunday, we were going the opposite direction as most of the traffic returning from weekend escapades. Anchorage, Alaska is just outside it.



 

The Seaside bed and breakfast in homer was quaint; a very old converted house with cozy cotton sheets and down blankets. We had drinks at a shack next door where we were slow smoked to the twangs of the live band, "One Legged Mule." The B&B served up a simple breakfast.  Homer, a small drinking town with a fishing problem.



We caught a ferry early the next morning to Seldovia. You buy your tickets at a shop front, then haul all your stuff down to the ferry. Some people are using it as a day trip for sight seeing. Others, like us newly weds, use it as a round trip ticket to stay a few days. The tide was out, so the boats and docks were as low as they could go from the spit above. You literal had to dangle your stuff below you while you clung to the rail. It was pretty rugged, especially since we had our bikes to ferry across. We looked tough in all our hiking gear.

It's about a 2 hour ferry to Seldovia with some sight seeing along the way. They take you around gull rock and through some of the bays. It's really beautiful on a sunny day. The harbor at Seldovia is the crushed rock type that is common in fjords. It's a very nice little town. Seldovia, a lot of nice people and a few old crabs.



 

We arranged to stay, via the internet, at the Swan House. The proprietor, Jerry Swanson, was a very nice man. We  had planned to hike and camp the first couple of days, but the camping would have been tough in an overgrown fall, with bears feeding, and poor Olivia's sunburn from being a redhead without sun block during the sunny outdoor wedding cermony. We did the only sensible thing. We rented the B&B room, the tree room, for the entire 4 days.



 

Honeymoon life is really simple in Seldovia. You sleep and cuddle constantly, trying to recover from the work and stress of a wedding. You ride your bike around the very small town. You go out to eat at your choice of two restaurants. But mostly you sit with each other on the high deck, talking, reading, watching the tidal slough, and relaxing. Our one outing was in a rented ATV to Red Mountain, an old mine site about 10 miles away from Seldovia toward Jackalof bay. It was an old chrome mine that had some very unique sandstone beds and blue-ish chrome veins that seemed out of place in Alaska. The sandstone stream reminded me of New Mexico. It could be a fun spot to camp and wander about in the future. We only stayed long enough to eat lunch and walk about for a few hours.
 


 

After taking the ferry back to Homer where the car was, we drove to Olivia's Uncle Phil and Aunt Johnnie's house outside of Homer. It's a kind of a remote place that is Phil's on going construction project. Paul and Ruth, Olivia's grandparents were staying there at the time. So, everyone was able to dine and visit together. We stayed the evening in a mother-in-law cabin and finally drove back home in the morning.

Olivia's parents are sending us to Cozumel for a second honeymoon. A tropical trip in the dead of Alaska winter will be very nice. We leave just a few days from this wrting.

Conclusions

All the thank you cards are mailed. The formalities of the wedding explosion are over. Everything went very well. We are very happy being married. It's good to be settled, young, in love, and full of hopeful promise. I continue to work as an Engineer at the University and take one or two classes a semester toward a bachelors degree. Olivia, having received her BA in Anthropology,  is again a full time student working toward a Radiology Technician (X-Ray tech) degree. We are enjoying puttering around the house on projects, cooking in harmony with the seasons, and sharing each other's families and lives. We are really looking forward to our second honeymoon this January to Cozumel, Mexico.

We would like to sincerely thank family, friends, and colleagues for making this the most wonderful wedding in the world. It was a symphony of support and cooperation.

Kind Regards,
Jim & Olivia Weller
January 1st, 2005